Sometimes, as unmarried people, we can be subject to loneliness. It’s fine to be “alone”, but not good to be “lonely”. There is a distinct difference–”alone” can be good, and profitable (of course, as Christians we are never “alone”. We always have the Comforter, who is the Holy Spirit, within and with us–Immanuel [God with us]). So, when I speak of “alone”, I simply mean there are no other people around, at the moment. “Lonely”, on the other hand is NOT good, or positive, because it is an indication that we are missing or lacking something/someone, or others. Lonely is also, not apart of the plan for us as children of God–we belong to the family of Christ–a huge family, with many brothers and sisters. How, then can we be lonely???
Loneliness happens when fellowship is absent. If we are not involved in fellowship with one another, that leads to loneliness. At this point, we may view our singleness (unmarried state) as a prison, rather than the biblically intended positive experience. Let me share this, too. Even in prison, there is something to do! Remember Paul and Silas, in prison? They weren’t sitting in that jail, complaining about the bars, the jailer, or the separation from others–they chose to worship and focused on God–their Deliverer, and He brought them out of their prison–He will do the same for you! Think of Joseph, the patriarch, sold into slavery by his brothers, falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife, locked away in prison–seemingly forgotten and left there to rot away. Joseph continued to work–in prison! He sought a change, he found something to do–and his efforts, along with continued faith in God wrought him deliverance and restoration. His restoration, too, exceeded the previous blessings, in his life–even enabling him to bless others, and to be instrumental in the saving of his family members (including, the ones who sold him, in the first place). Joseph understood and learned (through the process!!!) that God brings great things into fruition (out of even the direst circumstances of life), and He will utilize the tools of what appeared to be our demise! How awesome is our God??!!!
Yes, what satan sent–that loneliness–to destroy you, God will use to masterfully shape ministry, wholeness, and all manner of good “fruit”, in us!
We recognize though, that sometimes, it is difficult to see all of this when, as unmarried people we are consumed with loneliness. Sometimes, it appears to be insurmountable–and becomes very disquieting, for us. You begin to look around–and it seems that everyone has someone–except you. It is not true! It is important, for us to resist the urge to wallow in our loss. Start to look for fellowship opportunities.
Always, show yourself friendly! Make a concerted effort to reach out to others. If there is no singles’ ministry at your assembly, ask for one–and be willing to work toward its’ success. Find other singles and make time for fun events and social activities. Don’t use the excuse that it cost too much–it doesn’t have to cost anything! Plan a game night, at your place; have a picnic; start a book club, there are many ways to get friends together without cost (or little cost)–use your imagination! In all of this be careful to guard against cliques!!! Don’t exclude others, and be mindful of treating everyone the way you desire to be treated.
There are definite advantages to the unmarried state, but enjoying them has everything to do with your outlook. Try not to view this time as wasted time, spent waiting for a mate–but as precious time, that God has gifted to you, to make the most of. “Occupy” not until your mate comes–but until Jesus comes–use your time wisely and productively–it really is a gift.
Be proactive–make something happen, and find fulfillment and joy, for you and others, too!!!
Blessings,
Lisa