SINGLE? (Continued)
Becoming “Single” (or whole) doesn’t just happen. We aren’t born that way (Psalm 139:16). It is a process.
The characteristics of a “Single” individual are:
1. MATURITY (Philippians 3:15)
2. HONESTY (1. John 3:18)
3. STRENGTH (Philippians 4:13)
4. ACCEPTANCE (Romans 12:3-5)
I don’t want to suggest that this is it. Once we acquire these, we have not arrived! However, these four encompass many other traits that point us to the path of wholeness. Another point is that even when we become born again we do not instantly acquire wholeness–actually, the process is just beginning….
When we speak of MATURITY, the word “perfect” is often used in Scripture, instead of maturity. Clearly, we know that we have not attained perfection–we are in the process of being perfected, or matured. We are, hopefully, growing up, in Christ. As the word is used in Philippians 3:15, it means: “complete”. That, being our goal, we rely daily on the grace of God to take us higher in relationship with Him, and others in the Body of Christ. We need His grace to go higher in our walk–not continuing in sin; in our conversation; in our thought life and in the deepest recesses of our hearts. We cannot become full grown single/whole people drinking only “milk” (Hebrews 5:13-14).
HONESTY is of utmost importance. It is how trust is established in ALL relationships. If we are not honest with God, others and/or our-selves there can be no trust. Without trust, there is no REAL relationship. This is why (I believe) God looks at the heart–there we are exposed, and the real truth is laid bare before Him to see. We may not let the real truth come out of our mouths in prayer to Him–or even to ourselves; obviously not to others, for shame. However, He already see’s what the truth is–and eventually your mouth will betray you, because ”out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh”.
Here is an example: people who are normally very refined and under normal circumstances would never use profanity, speak vulgarly, use racist remarks, etc., can become inebriated and do all of the above. What we say, then, is that “it was always there”; but sober, they were able to control their “true” feelings. They may not like that they have those feelings–they may battle those feelings, but the catalyst of alcohol consumed, brought them to the surface, revealing the actual content of the heart–sort of like truth serum. We have some catalysts, too.
For us, honesty must be valued. If there are things in our hearts that endanger our salvation–we must surrender them to God, even if we have to do it daily. Until it is conquered, do it. Until we are honest about its existence, though, we won’t be delivered from it. The same applies to our relationships with others–if we don’t acknowledge our faults one to another, becoming transparent and honest, they don’t just go away. We remain powerless to conquer what is easily conquered if we are honest in our acknowledgement, and willing to be held accountable.
Strength is ours–but it is given to us. We gain empowerment to “move mountains”, in our lives, with this God given strength. It actually means “empowerment”. It is the power He gives us to live victoriously. How do we know that we are living victoriously? What are the signs? How do we, as His children, measure success? God empowers us to live in this world knowing how to be “content“.
Many of us think that it is His will that we acquire and amass wealth. That may be true–but if we do, it is for the up-building of the Kingdom–not for your personal gain; not for you to build “bigger barns”. Money is important, but we have the idea that it is for us to get and KEEP. That is not Scriptural. What we have is always to bless others–as we bless others, we receive more. We will be blessed. I don’t suggest that we are to be paupers, as some would suggest–but financial gain, for the sole purpose of financial gain is wrong.
The strength/empowerment has a purpose–to uphold us in “whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” That’s what He empowers us for. Why? Why do we want to know how to be abased and to be hungry? To empathize. When your brother is hungry, you will know. It takes strength to suffer these things, but it takes more to remember when you no longer are. But, “I CAN do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth (empowereth) me!”
Sometimes, I think ACCEPTANCE is the one that really holds us back. We place a lot of emphasis, these days, on outer appearance. By that, I mean the things that matter to man–but not so much to God. God calls many people that we wouldn’t give a second thought, because of the package. No degree, not particularly handsome, doesn’t wear the finest clothes, doesn’t hang with the right people, not willing to do whatever it takes to fit in, not titled, not from the right family background, questionable past, you know the JUNK we look for. JUNK–temporal, carnal, stuff. Education is wonderful, everybody wants to look their best–but what does that have to do with the FAMILY of GOD? What does it have to do with our respect for one another? What does it have to do with what one has to offer to the Body? Nothing. I’m glad God doesn’t see as we see. “…for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” (1.Samuel 16:7).
Repeatedly in Scripture, we are told to cherish one another and to show brotherly love, be kindly affectioned, not to think too much of ourselves–but to prefer one another. We ARE all ONE BODY! So why is it that we are willing to cause so much hurt to our own Body. When we hurt one member in the Body–no matter how insignificant we may deem them, it sends ripples throughout the entire Body, particularly to the Head, who is Christ.
We must abandon our divisive ways and begin to love with abandon. Throw caution to the wind–and love as Christ loved. He prayed that we might be One. First we must accept each other, in love, with respect for the feelings of one another. Consider your neighbor, FIRST.
Whether we choose to remain unmarried (as Paul chose (1 Corinthians 7:7) or to marry, “singleness” must be our goal. It is required for our walk with Christ. Wholeness will protect our relationships. Maturity creates a balance in relationship–when one person isn’t at his/her best, maturity stands patiently, helping (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Honesty is a guard that ensures lasting trust. Strength enables us to stand and not waver, no matter what. Acceptance causes us to see the beauty in others who are different from us.
We have to master these in marriage, of course. In an unmarried state, we have many relationships that need work too–they must be governed by wholeness, as well.
Abundant Blessings,
Lisa