Alone or Single???
In 2009, it takes a “bit” of faith to walk with God, as an unmarried Christian. I recognize that we live in a sex-saturated society. The images that confront us daily–on the street, on the job, on television and in print are extremely sexual and meant to entice. In many ways, though, it isn’t very different from the time that the Apostle Paul wrote his letter to the Corinthian saints. Of course, we have technology that didn’t exist then; however, the paganistic mindset is very much the same today as it was then. Their focus was on pleasure, in an age of sexual immorality, with a lifestyle of do what feels good. Sound familiar? The worship of Aphrodite was prominent, too. Idol worship is still very real, today. For most of us, it isn’t quite that overt, but whatever or whomever you give first priority in your life–becomes your god. I hope you have no idols.
In Paul’s instructions, (in the 7th chapter of 1 Corinthians) speaking to those who are unmarried; he states unequivocally, that being unmarried is “better”. To get why Paul makes such a bold statement on the issue–without command from the Lord, we need to note the status of the Corinthian Christians, at that time. In an atmosphere of great persecution (“for the present distress” vs.26) it is easier to maintain an unmarried status. Being married would cause more stress, at the very least, regarding the safety and well-being of one’s spouse and family. Paul supposed, why add to an already horrific situation. However, it is not a commandment of the Lord, and each person must decide what is spiritually best for his/her own situation–married or unmarried. Paul chose to be unmarried. Today, it is the same–what is expedient for me?
Paul stresses that once we are married our focus naturally shifts. It is normal. You are not worshipping your mate–hopefully! But, your responsibility and care for that individual is going to require time–before, you were married, you had no constraints on your time, and could focus all of your time and energy on God. You no longer have that liberty. As a married woman, for instance, your husband would like to come home to find dinner–not you praying in the Spirit–at least not everyday! So, we must give up some of our sacred time with God, in order to have a fulfilling marriage.
If we choose to remain unmarried–there are great advantages!!! I know somebody (probably a lot of somebody’s) are disagreeing with me, right now. There is a reason, though, why Paul said it is “better”. I don’t say there are no challenges–there are challenges to every state. There are many married people who wish they were single! I think that is why we must master learning to be content–no matter what state we find ourselves in–abounding, or being abased, etc. Let’s see what we have opportunity to do as unmarried people of God.
First, being “unmarried” and being “single” are not the same. We use these terms interchangeably, but the Bible does not. Unmarried is not having a spouse (naturally-speaking). Being single, in Scripture, implies wholeness, completeness. So many times, we think of being single, as being alone–that is a deception of the enemy. Only he wants you to be caught up in thinking that you are less than what God rebirthed you to be! satan’s purpose in that lie is to keep you from fulfilling God’s plan for you, NOW. God has destinies, dreams and goals that He planted in you–waiting for you to allow them to be birthed. Sadly, though you are focused on a mate, 2.5 children, a home with a 3-car garage, etc., etc., etc. Is that all we want? He has so much more for us! We live way beneath our privilege, because we look at things through carnal eyes. Open your spiritual eyelids and see the big picture. Beside that, you can have what you want, but seek His Kingdom first, “and all these things shall be added unto you…”.
Traditionally, we have thought that we are not complete without a mate, but I became whole when I met Jesus. I am not a 1/2 waiting for my other 1/2 to find me and make me complete. If I marry, it is my responsibility to bring wholeness to my prospective mate. I must be whole, already, waiting and expecting a whole individual (yes, that’s right!) and together, we will be wholly united in God. Look at the description of the Church–many members (not pieces of members), but one Body. Each member isn’t a fraction (like fracture–that denotes injury) or shouldn’t be. Think of the terms we learned (I may be dating myself, now) in mathematics–like integers, “whole” numbers. Integer comes from te same root word that we get words like “integrity”, “integral”, “integration”. What am I saying? In our singleness, we must retrain our minds to know that we are not fractured, broken pieces–but we are whole, healed, cured and complete people with gifts and talents that we owe the Body of Christ and the world! See yourself, this day (no matter what station of life you happen to be in) victoriously, stepping into your destiny in ministry. We are all able ministers of the reconciliation.
Stop waiting for something to happen to you, be the vessel that allows God to use you to make something happen in the world.
Finally, don’t call yourself “single” unless you really mean it!
Abundant Blessings!
Lisa