BLC SINGLES CORNER

Jesus is the Reason…

Tis’ the season to remember, Jesus is the reason!!!
Praise the Lord!

This is a time of year that affects many of us in varied ways–some are filled with joy and wonder, while others find themselves sad, even depressed. It is amazing that this Christmas season can fill one person with unbridled joy, and yet plunge others into deep sadness.

There are ways to avoid the pitfalls of being downcast in this time of remembrance of the birth of our Savior.

1. Remember, what this time is all about! It is the time that we celebrate the birth of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. Without His birth we couldn’t know Him as our Redeemer. In order to be our Deliverer, He had to come through the womb of a woman, in birth. How glorious is our story of redemption that began with the humble birth of our King! Stay focused, on what His birth brought to us–a King, a Redeemer, a Deliverer, all in Christ our Lord.

2. Make an effort to be with others. It is tempting to shut down and avoid others when sad–but that is the opposite of what one should do. Get involved. If you are far from family, visit those in need. Volunteer at a shelter; give gifts to those who cannot afford to give. Visit senior citizens at a residential facility, who are often forgotten and lonely, themselves. If your church has community outreach programs, get involved. Help someone else–it will bring you joy!

3. Avoid the trappings that we have come to think of as necessary to celebrate Christmas. In all of our attempts to make the holiday a memorable event, sometimes, we can get caught up in the trappings–the shopping, the busyness, and all of things that overwhelm us and lead to exhaustion and frustration. It isn’t the gifting that is important, but the people that give and receive. Focus on the important things–give of yourself, share your time and attention with others. It is these things that create precious memories. “Things” are forgotten quickly, but intangible giving, is not soon forgotten.

In all of this, I am not suggesting that it is wrong to give gifts, just that we should maintain perspective–in ALL things. Balance is of utmost importance. Give, but don’t give yourself into debt. Give of yourself. Spend time with others. Think outside of your usual circle. Think of those less fortunate. Keep spending in check. In everything, know your limits–in giving gifts, in decorating, in baking, cooking, parties, etc. Make sure that time for worship–personal as well as corporate is still apart of your regular activities. Don’t forget to pray, read and study the Word. Physically, it is important to get proper rest, eat right, and exercise–even while all the tempting goodies of the holiday surround us!) It is okay to indulge, but stay on track. Being physically fit, goes along way in helping us be emotionally healthy, too.

Whatever you celebrate–Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, stay focused on God, and others!

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!!

Love & Abundant Blessings,

Lisa

As I thought and prayed about what to share, this month, continually, I drew a blank. I just did not have any idea what God wanted me to give. This morning’s devotional reading held the answer, though. It’s true, sometimes; we just need to wait, until just the right time…. I read about His thoughtfulness toward us, and I knew, what I should write.

I knew it was time, as the seasons are rapidly changing–summer is behind us, now, and fall is changing the temperatures and the foliage. We are beginning to bundle up a bit more–and our mindset is different, as we think toward the holiday’s approaching–time for family and fellowship. These times can be difficult for many; especially those of us who are unmarried and separated from our families by miles (or other reasons). So, we sometimes, begin to reflect; and at this time, it is easy to withdraw and settle for thoughts other than the thoughts that God has toward us. His are ALL good and whole (and RIGHT)!

Sometimes, we become negative in our thinking, supposing that we will ALWAYS be alone. We fail to see others around us, attempting to reach out to us; or we may fail to see our responsibility to reach out to others. Before you have time to get caught up in thoughts of negativity, wrap yourself up in God’s precious thoughts about you! Remember, He had you on His mind before you were formed: (“My frame was not hidden from you, when I was made in secret, and skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, the days fashioned for me, when as yet there were none of them. How precious also are your thoughts to me, O God! How great is the sum of them!” Psalm 139:15-17, NKJV). His plans for you are only the best: (“For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11, NKJV).

If you are tempted over these coming months, to succumb, to loneliness, sadness, feelings of defeat–think on THESE things!

“Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy–meditate on these things.” (Philippians 4:8, NKJV)

Love & Abundant Blessings,

Lisa

Sometimes, as unmarried people, we can be subject to loneliness. It’s fine to be “alone”, but not good to be “lonely”. There is a distinct difference–”alone” can be good, and profitable (of course, as Christians we are never “alone”. We always have the Comforter, who is the Holy Spirit, within and with us–Immanuel [God with us]). So, when I speak of “alone”, I simply mean there are no other people around, at the moment. “Lonely”, on the other hand is NOT good, or positive, because it is an indication that we are missing or lacking something/someone, or others. Lonely is also, not apart of the plan for us as children of God–we belong to the family of Christ–a huge family, with many brothers and sisters. How, then can we be lonely???

Loneliness happens when fellowship is absent. If we are not involved in fellowship with one another, that leads to loneliness. At this point, we may view our singleness (unmarried state) as a prison, rather than the biblically intended positive experience. Let me share this, too. Even in prison, there is something to do! Remember Paul and Silas, in prison? They weren’t sitting in that jail, complaining about the bars, the jailer, or the separation from others–they chose to worship and focused on God–their Deliverer, and He brought them out of their prison–He will do the same for you! Think of Joseph, the patriarch, sold into slavery by his brothers, falsely accused by Potiphar’s wife, locked away in prison–seemingly forgotten and left there to rot away. Joseph continued to work–in prison! He sought a change, he found something to do–and his efforts, along with continued faith in God wrought him deliverance and restoration. His restoration, too, exceeded the previous blessings, in his life–even enabling him to bless others, and to be instrumental in the saving of his family members (including, the ones who sold him, in the first place). Joseph understood and learned (through the process!!!) that God brings great things into fruition (out of even the direst circumstances of life), and He will utilize the tools of what appeared to be our demise! How awesome is our God??!!!

Yes, what satan sent–that loneliness–to destroy you, God will use to masterfully shape ministry, wholeness, and all manner of good “fruit”, in us!

We recognize though, that sometimes, it is difficult to see all of this when, as unmarried people we are consumed with loneliness. Sometimes, it appears to be insurmountable–and becomes very disquieting, for us. You begin to look around–and it seems that everyone has someone–except you. It is not true! It is important, for us to resist the urge to wallow in our loss. Start to look for fellowship opportunities.

Always, show yourself friendly! Make a concerted effort to reach out to others. If there is no singles’ ministry at your assembly, ask for one–and be willing to work toward its’ success. Find other singles and make time for fun events and social activities. Don’t use the excuse that it cost too much–it doesn’t have to cost anything! Plan a game night, at your place; have a picnic; start a book club, there are many ways to get friends together without cost (or little cost)–use your imagination! In all of this be careful to guard against cliques!!! Don’t exclude others, and be mindful of treating everyone the way you desire to be treated.

There are definite advantages to the unmarried state, but enjoying them has everything to do with your outlook. Try not to view this time as wasted time, spent waiting for a mate–but as precious time, that God has gifted to you, to make the most of. “Occupy” not until your mate comes–but until Jesus comes–use your time wisely and productively–it really is a gift.

Be proactive–make something happen, and find fulfillment and joy, for you and others, too!!!

Blessings,
Lisa

“I APPEAL to you therefore, brethren, and beg of you in view of [all] the mercies of God, to make a decisive dedication of your bodies [presenting all your members and faculties] as a living sacrifice, holy (devoted, consecrated) and well pleasing to God, which is your reasonable (rational, intelligent) service and spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world (this age), [fashioned after and adapted to its external, superficial customs], but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God, even the thing which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His sight for you].” (Romans 12:1,2)

“My Body is About Him”
by Max Lucado

“Don’t you know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you?” (1 Corinthians 6:19 NLT). Paul wrote these words to counter the Corinthian sex obsession. “Run away from sexual sin!” reads the prior sentence. “No other sin so clearly affects the body as this one does. For sexual immorality is a sin against your own body.” (v.18 NLT).

“What a salmon scripture! No message swims more up-stream than this one. You know the sexual anthem of our day: “I’ll do what I want. It’s my body.” God’s firm response? “No, it’s not. It’s mine.”

Be quick to understand, God is not antisex. Dismiss any notion that God is anti affection and anti-intercourse. After all, he developed the whole package. Sex was his idea. From his perspective, sex is nothing short of holy.

He views sexual intimacy the way I view our family Bible. Passed down from my father’s side, the volume is one hundred years old and twelve inches thick. Replete with lithographs, scribbling, and a family tree, it is, in my estimation, beyond value. Hence, I use it carefully.

When I need a stepstool, I don’t reach for the Bible. If the foot of my bed breaks, I don’t use the family Bible as a prop. When we need old paper for wrapping, we don’t rip a sheet out of this book. We reserve the heirloom for special times and keep it in a chosen place.

Regard sex the same way? as a holy gift to be opened in a special place at special times. The special place is marriage, and the time is with your spouse.

Casual sex, intimacy outside of marriage, pulls the Corinthian ploy. It pretends we can give the body and not affect the soul. We can’t. We humans are so intricately psychosomatic that whatever touches the soma impacts the psyche as well. The me-centered phrase “as long as no one gets hurt” sounds noble, but the truth is, we don’t know who gets hurt. God-centered thinking rescues us from the sex we thought would make us happy. You may think your dalliances are harmless, and years may pass before the x-rays reveal the internal damage, but don’t be fooled. Casual sex is a diet of chocolate? it tastes good for a while, but the imbalance can ruin you. Sex apart from God’s plan wounds the soul.

Your body, God’s temple. Respect it.”
These days, we hear all kinds of things in regards to sex and “our” bodies. People really do think that whatever pleases them is okay. That is such a deception. If you carefully devote time and attention to making something, do you then, allow it to make decisions that will cause all of your work to be for naught? For instance, I design and make jewelry. After I have designed a piece and put my work into the detail of the design, do I allow someone to come along and abuse my work? Not likely! Why, then, do we think that God will allow His creations to use and abuse themselves, with each other, simply because it feels good, or because we feel like it?

He has created so much beauty–in us and for us to enjoy; but God is a God of order. He has determined how and when we can appropriately use everything that He has created. If we choose to do things our way–and against His principles, then we suffer. There are consequences for ALL of our choices–some are good, but some will kill us–it depends on our choice.

What is really sad is that even in many churches, there are people who identify themselves as born-again Christians, who think that sexual immorality is not really a bad thing–or that it is excusable. It is bad and it is not excusable–it destroys. It destroys the family unit, as God intended it to be. Sex outside of the confines of marriage has a multitude of consequences. There are spiritual, emotional and physical consequences. Those consequences are often so life altering, that many never really recover from the misuse of the temple of God (“our” bodies). I am sure you can name some of those consequences:
1) Loneliness–to engage in sex, without a marriage partner, leaves a feeling of emptiness and a longing for something more–particularly, with women. Why? Because, women are receivers. It is our nature to become emotional–whenever a woman has sex, she needs more than the physical act to truly be satisfied. Without commitment of marriage, there is NO guarantee of commitment. Men generally are not as emotional about sex, as women, but they give a part of themselves (emotionally), in the act of intercourse, as well. Most women, admittedly or not, are looking for more than the physical act–and have a hope of something permanent, when they engage in sex, outside of the confines of marriage. Unfortunately, it often doesn’t work out that way–but even if they do marry, these marriages are often troubled.
2) sexually-transmitted diseases–they aren’t only a nuisance, but they can take lives. HIV/AIDS, has wreaked havoc on the family. When AIDS first became known to us, most heterosexuals thought they were safe. Not so, AIDS doesn’t discriminate. Mothers get AIDS and pass it on to their children. Men engage in risky behavior and bring HIV and AIDS home to their wives. Teenagers are contracting HIV and AIDS, in record numbers. Some diseases that aren’t as deadly as AIDS, take a woman’s ability to have children when she decides that the time is “right” for her to settle down with one man, and marry. Some diseases, caused by risky sexual activity, in youth, may cause cancer–later. Is it really worth the risk??? Many people are of the opinion that you shouldn’t marry someone until you have “tested the waters”. They say, how will you know if you are compatible, sexually??? It is much safer, as well as right, to trust God, in choosing a husband or wife. (Actually, HE that findeth a wife, findeth a good thing!) But, the point is, WE won’t choose correctly, with or without sex–if we don’t allow God to be in the equation!
3) Children growing up with only one parent–It’s hard enough for two married people to parent, in this day and age, but it becomes a gargantuan task for a single parent! Effective parenting is difficult enough, without the benefit of both parents being fully engaged in the process. That is very difficult for two unmarried to do–we witness the problems that children of divorce suffer, all of the time. What about the child who grows up, not knowing who one of his parents are? What about women trying to raise sons to be quality men and husbands–women can’t teach boys, how to be men! Women can’t show their daughters how they should be treated by men, like Daddy can–when he is a positive presence in the family home. The home is where little girls learn what to look for in a man, when they grow up. Finally, it is emotionally and physically draining to parent alone–it can also be very lonely; especially in the church (where it may feel like everyone is a couple, except you, or those who aren’t couples, don’t have children).

The aforementioned consequences are but a few–and there are more that come out of these! It should be obvious to any born-again believer, that sex, is for marriage–ONLY! Sadly, many of us compromise, allowing our flesh to rule–rather than walking after the Spirit. It is a choice, though! Choose the way of life; choose to follow the plan that God has given to us, and avoid the consequences of sin.

Lord, keep us from wayward thinking. Give us minds that are singularly devoted to You; cause us to choose Your perfect way, and find life. Help us to devote “Your” bodies, that we live in, to holy living and all that pleases You.
In Jesus’ Name,
AMEN
Abundant Blessings!!!

Lisa

Guarding our minds is serious business. If we are honest, we must acknowledge that our sin, doesn’t happen upon us at times when we are wholly focused on serving God (as we unmarried can be). When our whole hearts are devoted to the Kingdom of God, sin does not come along and swallow us up. Never! It occurs when we begin to let the godly and “good” things slip. Not being watchful of your associations? Be careful! Not giving time to prayer and study of the Word? Look out! Not working on developing real fellowship with God–and godly people? It’s a setup–of your own choosing. You are about to take a detour onto the road of “Sin Conceived”. Immorality doesn’t just happen to us–God always tugs at the strings of our hearts, to warn us–but we have to receive the warning and consciously take heed. He does as any loving parent would–only more so, because He sees the end from the beginning. He knows the paths that we will take, and He desires only good for us.

It may sound harsh, but it is fact–when we sin, we choose to. You see the signs, but you ignore them. Sometimes, it is sinful pride that leads us out of the way. We forget that it is only God’s grace that can keep us–and we fall. There are key things that we must all look for in our lives, if we will avoid sin.

Watch the thoughts that you allow to be sown in your heart–self-examine, because there is an action to follow, the initial thought. Again, sow things that “are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report”. If you think on these things, you will reap a bountiful harvest of blessings! If, however, you choose to sow malice, envy, and backbiting–even laziness (in particular, spiritual laziness), talking too much or having a bad attitude–guess what kind of fruit you will reap? See Galatians 6:9, 14-26.

If we want to walk holy and be kept by God’s precious and abundant gift of grace–we must sow the Word of God, sow prayer, sow fasting, sow worship, sow love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness and temperance–and you will reap God’s best. Not sowing good things into your life is just as damaging to your spirit as sowing evil things. There is no neutrality in God’s Kingdom! You must choose a side and devote your full attention to it. Not choosing, consciously, or unconsciously will lead to destruction. That’s the “laziness”, I mentioned earlier. Being spiritually lazy and lax is a setup (of your own making), for failure.

Being unmarried, makes us more susceptible to some kinds of temptation–for instance, sexual immorality. We have to be on guard, to avoid that temptation. Once allowed to take root, it is very hard to fight–avoidance is much easier. As an unmarried man or woman, we cannot watch everything on television–or see every movie, we shouldn’t read every book. These things can become footholds for satan’s influence in our lives. Learn yourself. Get to know which things trigger ungodly responses, in your life–that’s the battle–see Romans 7.

Make the right choice, and be “delivered from the body of this death…so then with the mind, I myself serve the Law of God…” Don’t walk haphazardly–stay focused; protect your heart, mind and body.

CHOOSE the way that leads to life everlasting. Be ever mindful of your destiny!

Abundant Blessings!!!            Lisa

“For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 1 Corinthians 6:20

 How can we glorify God in our bodies?  Today, I read these statements, “SOW A THOUGHT, REAP AN ACTION. SOW AN ACTION, REAP A HABIT. SOW A HABIT, REAP A CHARACTER. SOW A CHARACTER, REAP A DESTINY.“  Each statement is profoundly accurate in and of itself, but altogether, they teach a powerful lesson. They can all, individually or collectively be positive or negative. We decide; each and every one of us.

 Oftentimes, when we speak of sin in our lives, we refer to it as “falling or being fallen in sin”, as though it slipped upon us, completely unawares! We say it as if sin came out of nowhere and swooped down, making us its victim. We say, “We just couldn’t help it”, or like Flip Wilson, a comedian popular in the 1970′s, used to say (in his, then famous Geraldine act), “the devil made me do it!” But, understand this–Flip was wrong and so are we when we say these things. The adversary does not have unbridled power over any child of God! When we sin, we make a decision to sin.

 In James’ letter to the Jewish saints, he wrote, “let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempted with evil, neither tempteth he any man: but every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed. Then when lust hath conceived, it bringeth forth sin: and sin when it is finished, bringeth forth death. Do not err my beloved brethren.” That word “sow“, leads to conception. Whatever we sow in our minds, will be conceived in our hearts and spirits. Think of the process of conception of life–the sperm is “sown” in a woman, and only then is a child conceived; or think of sowing seeds, with the purpose of reaping a harvest of crops. What you plant is what you will reap–if you sow corn then you will reap corn–if the harvest is successful. We don’t plant corn, and expect potatoes. It is the same with our spiritual lives. Sowing and reaping is a law that translates to many areas of our existence.

 Let us be clear about the thought process. “HAVING“ a thought, is not synonymous to “SOWING” one. ALL of us have ungodly thoughts. What we do with those thoughts, determines our path. When evil thoughts come, we always make a decision–instantaneously, whether we will entertain the thought (sowing it–causing it to grow and germinate, in our minds). In that case, it extends to our hearts and we are well on our way to defilement. On the other hand, when we decide to rebuke the evil thought (choosing rather to think on things that are “true…honest…just…pure…lovely and of good report Philippians 4:8), we have a “better” outcome. As we refuse to allow satan’s influence to take root in our minds, that halts the growth of wickedness, and satan is unable to proceed further with his devilish contamination of our hearts. That is how we guard our hearts.

 In close examination of the sowing process, in Scripture, we get a clear picture: ”The operation of a sowing with the hand is one of so simple a character as to need little description. The Egyptian paintings furnish many illustrations of the mode in which it was conducted. The sower held the vessel or basket containing the seed in his left hand, while with his right he scattered the seed broadcast. The “drawing out” of the seed is noticed, as the most characteristic action of the sower”—Smith’s Bible Dictionary. It can then be understood that sowing involves the attention and purposeful action of the sower. Another point, in Scripture, regarding sowing is the prohibition of sowing “mixed” seeds (see Leviticus 19:19). We cannot sow both godly thoughts and evil thoughts–we must choose. There is no serving of two masters! Another picture, in (Isaiah 32:20), shows the process of sowing in wet soil–for this process, animals were used. The seed was “trodden” by the feet of animals. Picture that, loose wet soil and heavy beasts of burden, forcing the seeds deep into the soil! Don’t allow satan to tread upon filthy thoughts in your mind, forcing them deep into your consciousness, where they will then be transferred to your heart, only to produce the fruits of unrighteousness!!! Once this occurs, you will begin to act unrighteously and so reap the penalty of unrighteousness. Watch out for that slippery slope!

 Sin, then, does not sneak up on us and catch us off guard–it happens only when we allow ourselves to “sow a thought”. That is how it begins. It can be difficult–for the writer of the Proverbs, tells us, “Good understanding giveth favor: but the way of transgressors is hard.” What makes one a transgressor? Allowing ungodly thoughts to take root in us–then it is hard, to remove them before we act upon them. Don’t be a transgressor. Remember, it never starts with a big thing–if it did, we would not be so easily caught up in sin, but satan is cunning. It is the “little foxes” that destroy us–eating away at our destiny. 

We now understand that, as unmarried people in the Body of Christ, we are to be “WHOLE” individuals. We don’t wait to get married to find wholeness. Our wholeness is not wrapped up in a mate–but in Christ Jesus. Only God, can fix the damage done to us, because we are born into a world of sin. With sin comes hurt, pain, and the issues of life. We don’t get married and look for a mate to “fix” us. That is the work of the Holy Spirit. As unmarried people, the time to be repaired is now.

In our unmarried state, we should not have the mindset that life begins once I am married. We are not to be living/existing with our minds focused on the husband, children, the home, and the trimmings. How do we “occupy”? Some of us may never marry, for whatever reason; and those who do, have work to do, in the meantime? What are our roles?

We can be totally devoted to the things of God, in our unmarried state–without distraction. Let me qualify this by stating that, at the time Paul wrote about the benefit of remaining unmarried, it was very different from the world we now live in. There was no corporate world to contend with, women didn’t work outside of the home–unmarried women remained at home, until they married. Men, even, worked very close to home and family–usually engaged in the family trade. So, we have to adjust our thinking, somewhat. Always remember, though, God is first–no matter the era. The advantage of being unmarried in every era is that we can give more time and devote more attention to the things of God and His people.

As an unmarried person, you have more opportunities for service within the Body of Christ. As a wife and mother, you may not be able to assist the elderly saints or the sick in the same way–because of your responsibilities at home. Being free from those obligations, you are able to make yourself available to God’s people who need help, from time to time. You have more time to devote to prayer and services, perhaps. People who have children attending school may not always be able to attend nightly services–but you are free to do so. Take advantage of every opportunity. You have opportunities for hospitality–instead of feeling lonely, have some other people over who may feel forgotten and share. You may discover new friends and find opportunities to encourage one another. Look for ways to be a blessing–it won’t take long to discover some!

This is the prime time to discover and maximize gifts and talents. “Remember thy Creator in the days of thy youth.” We may not all be young, but the point is, we have time and availability. Don’t be afraid to learn something new. Is there something you always wanted to do? Learn a new language–sign language perhaps, or take courses in cooking, sewing, fixing cars, etc. You can help God’s people with all of these. This should be a time of discovery, not waiting. We decide how we will use this period–if it will be productive or wasted.

Ministry development is key now, too. Seek God in regard to your role in the Kingdom. BE about His business. When we are focused on Kingdom business, it will alleviate a lot of the stresses that we experience as unmarried people. We have to be very careful how we occupy our time. Know your weaknesses. Know your enemy. Know your strategy. KNOW your DELIVERER!

Finally, be led by the Spirit, in everything. Don’t squander this special time that you have with the Lord. Be conscious of this important gift and make good use of it!

Love & Blessings,
Lisa

SINGLE?  (Continued)

     Becoming “Single” (or whole) doesn’t just happen. We aren’t born that way (Psalm 139:16). It is a process.

     The characteristics of a “Single” individual are:

     1. MATURITY (Philippians 3:15)

     2. HONESTY (1. John 3:18)

     3. STRENGTH (Philippians 4:13)

     4. ACCEPTANCE (Romans 12:3-5)

     I don’t want to suggest that this is it. Once we acquire these, we have not arrived! However, these four encompass many other traits that point us to the path of wholeness. Another point is that even when we become born again we do not instantly acquire wholeness–actually, the process is just beginning…. 

   When we speak of MATURITY, the word “perfect” is often used in Scripture, instead of maturity. Clearly, we know that we have not attained perfection–we are in the process of being perfected, or matured. We are, hopefully, growing up, in Christ. As the word is used in Philippians 3:15, it means: “complete”. That, being our goal, we rely daily on the grace of God to take us higher in relationship with Him, and others in the Body of Christ. We need His grace to go higher in our walk–not continuing in sin; in our conversation; in our thought life and in the deepest recesses of our hearts. We cannot become full grown single/whole people drinking only “milk” (Hebrews 5:13-14). 

     HONESTY is of utmost importance. It is how trust is established in ALL relationships. If we are not honest with God, others and/or our-selves there can be no trust. Without trust, there is no REAL relationship. This is why (I believe) God looks at the heart–there we are exposed, and the real truth is laid bare before Him to see. We may not let the real truth come out of our mouths in prayer to Him–or even to ourselves; obviously not to others, for shame. However, He already see’s what the truth is–and eventually your mouth will betray you, because ”out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh”.

     Here is an example: people who are normally very refined and under normal circumstances would never use profanity, speak vulgarly, use racist remarks, etc., can become inebriated and do all of the above. What we say, then, is that “it was always there”; but sober, they were able to control their “true” feelings. They may not like that they have those feelings–they may battle those feelings, but the catalyst of alcohol consumed, brought them to the surface, revealing the actual content of the heart–sort of like truth serum. We have some catalysts, too.

  For us, honesty must be valued. If there are things in our hearts that endanger our salvation–we must surrender them to God, even if we have to do it daily. Until it is conquered, do it. Until we are honest about its existence, though, we won’t be delivered from it. The same applies to our relationships with others–if we don’t acknowledge our faults one to another, becoming transparent and honest, they don’t just go away. We remain powerless to conquer what is easily conquered if we are honest in our acknowledgement, and willing to be held accountable.

     Strength is ours–but it is given to us. We gain empowerment to “move mountains”, in our lives, with this God given strength. It actually means “empowerment”. It is the power He gives us to live victoriously. How do we know that we are living victoriously? What are the signs? How do we, as His children, measure success? God empowers us to live in this world knowing how to be “content“.

     Many of us think that it is His will that we acquire and amass wealth. That may be true–but if we do, it is for the up-building of the Kingdom–not for your personal gain; not for you to build “bigger barns”. Money is important, but we have the idea that it is for us to get and KEEP. That is not Scriptural. What we have is always to bless others–as we bless others, we receive more. We will be blessed. I don’t suggest that we are to be paupers, as some would suggest–but financial gain, for the sole purpose of financial gain is wrong.

     The strength/empowerment has a purpose–to uphold us in “whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. I know both how to be abased, and I know how to abound: every where and in all things I am instructed both to be full and to be hungry, both to abound and to suffer need.” That’s what He empowers us for. Why? Why do we want to know how to be abased and to be hungry? To empathize. When your brother is hungry, you will know. It takes strength to suffer these things, but it takes more to remember when you no longer are. But, “I CAN do ALL things through Christ which strengtheneth (empowereth) me!” 

      Sometimes, I think ACCEPTANCE is the one that really holds us back. We place a lot of emphasis, these days, on outer appearance. By that, I mean the things that matter to man–but not so much to God. God calls many people that we wouldn’t give a second thought, because of the package. No degree, not particularly handsome, doesn’t wear the finest clothes, doesn’t hang with the right people, not willing to do whatever it takes to fit in, not titled, not from the right family background, questionable past, you know the JUNK we look for. JUNK–temporal, carnal, stuff. Education is wonderful, everybody wants to look their best–but what does that have to do with the FAMILY of GOD? What does it have to do with our respect for one another? What does it have to do with what one has to offer to the Body? Nothing. I’m glad God doesn’t see as we see. “…for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.” (1.Samuel 16:7).

      Repeatedly in Scripture, we are told to cherish one another and to show brotherly love, be kindly affectioned, not to think too much of ourselves–but to prefer one another. We ARE all ONE BODY! So why is it that we are willing to cause so much hurt to our own Body. When we hurt one member in the Body–no matter how insignificant we may deem them, it sends ripples throughout the entire Body, particularly to the Head, who is Christ. 

      We must abandon our divisive ways and begin to love with abandon. Throw caution to the wind–and love as Christ loved. He prayed that we might be One. First we must accept each other, in love, with respect for the feelings of one another. Consider your neighbor, FIRST. 

      Whether we choose to remain unmarried (as Paul chose (1 Corinthians 7:7) or to marry, “singleness” must be our goal. It is required for our walk with Christ. Wholeness will protect our relationships. Maturity creates a balance in relationship–when one person isn’t at his/her best, maturity stands patiently, helping (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10). Honesty is a guard that ensures lasting trust. Strength enables us to stand and not waver, no matter what. Acceptance causes us to see the beauty in others who are different from us.

  We have to master these in marriage, of course. In an unmarried state, we have many relationships that need work too–they must be governed by wholeness, as well.

                   Abundant Blessings,

                               Lisa

Alone or Single???

In 2009, it takes a “bit” of faith to walk with God, as an unmarried Christian. I recognize that we live in a sex-saturated society. The images that confront us daily–on the street, on the job, on television and in print are extremely sexual and meant to entice. In many ways, though, it isn’t very different from the time that the Apostle Paul wrote his letter to the Corinthian saints. Of course, we have technology that didn’t exist then; however, the paganistic mindset is very much the same today as it was then. Their focus was on pleasure, in an age of sexual immorality, with a lifestyle of do what feels good. Sound familiar? The worship of Aphrodite was prominent, too. Idol worship is still very real, today. For most of us, it isn’t quite that overt, but whatever or whomever you give first priority in your life–becomes your god. I hope you have no idols.

In Paul’s instructions, (in the 7th chapter of 1 Corinthians) speaking to those who are unmarried; he states unequivocally, that being unmarried is “better”. To get why Paul makes such a bold statement on the issue–without command from the Lord, we need to note the status of the Corinthian Christians, at that time. In an atmosphere of great persecution (“for the present distress” vs.26) it is easier to maintain an unmarried status. Being married would cause more stress, at the very least, regarding the safety and well-being of one’s spouse and family. Paul supposed, why add to an already horrific situation. However, it is not a commandment of the Lord, and each person must decide what is spiritually best for his/her own situation–married or unmarried. Paul chose to be unmarried. Today, it is the same–what is expedient for me?

Paul stresses that once we are married our focus naturally shifts. It is normal. You are not worshipping your mate–hopefully! But, your responsibility and care for that individual is going to require time–before, you were married, you had no constraints on your time, and could focus all of your time and energy on God. You no longer have that liberty. As a married woman, for instance, your husband would like to come home to find dinner–not you praying in the Spirit–at least not everyday! So, we must give up some of our sacred time with God, in order to have a fulfilling marriage.

If we choose to remain unmarried–there are great advantages!!! I know somebody (probably a lot of somebody’s) are disagreeing with me, right now. There is a reason, though, why Paul said it is “better”. I don’t say there are no challenges–there are challenges to every state. There are many married people who wish they were single! I think that is why we must master learning to be content–no matter what state we find ourselves in–abounding, or being abased, etc. Let’s see what we have opportunity to do as unmarried people of God.

First, being “unmarried” and being “single” are not the same. We use these terms interchangeably, but the Bible does not. Unmarried is not having a spouse (naturally-speaking). Being single, in Scripture, implies wholeness, completeness. So many times, we think of being single, as being alone–that is a deception of the enemy. Only he wants you to be caught up in thinking that you are less than what God rebirthed you to be! satan’s purpose in that lie is to keep you from fulfilling God’s plan for you, NOW. God has destinies, dreams and goals that He planted in you–waiting for you to allow them to be birthed. Sadly, though you are focused on a mate, 2.5 children, a home with a 3-car garage, etc., etc., etc. Is that all we want? He has so much more for us! We live way beneath our privilege, because we look at things through carnal eyes. Open your spiritual eyelids and see the big picture. Beside that, you can have what you want, but seek His Kingdom first, “and all these things shall be added unto you…”.

Traditionally, we have thought that we are not complete without a mate, but I became whole when I met Jesus. I am not a 1/2 waiting for my other 1/2 to find me and make me complete. If I marry, it is my responsibility to bring wholeness to my prospective mate. I must be whole, already, waiting and expecting a whole individual (yes, that’s right!) and together, we will be wholly united in God. Look at the description of the Church–many members (not pieces of members), but one Body. Each member isn’t a fraction (like fracture–that denotes injury) or shouldn’t be. Think of the terms we learned (I may be dating myself, now) in mathematics–like integers, “whole” numbers. Integer comes from te same root word that we get words like “integrity”, “integral”, “integration”. What am I saying? In our singleness, we must retrain our minds to know that we are not fractured, broken pieces–but we are whole, healed, cured and complete people with gifts and talents that we owe the Body of Christ and the world! See yourself, this day (no matter what station of life you happen to be in) victoriously, stepping into your destiny in ministry. We are all able ministers of the reconciliation.

Stop waiting for something to happen to you, be the vessel that allows God to use you to make something happen in the world.

Finally, don’t call yourself “single” unless you really mean it!
Abundant Blessings!
Lisa